罵人是藝術，讚美也是藝術
散文家梁實秋認為：罵人是一種高深的學問，不是人人都可以隨便試的。有因為罵人挨嘴巴的，有因為罵人吃官司的，有因為罵人反被人罵的，這都是不會罵人的原故。罵人的藝術，據梁大師研究所得，有十大竅門：（一）知己知彼；（二）無罵不如己者；（三）適可而止；（四）旁敲側擊；（五）態度鎮定；（六）出言典雅；（七）以退為進；（八）預設埋伏；（九）小題大做；（十）遠交近攻。讚美也是語言藝術，PRAISE is also an art，但簡單得多，隨機應變，因人而異即可。
PRAISE 是幾個同樣表示稱讚，讚揚，用得最口語化、最廣泛的英文字；praiseworthy 是值得稱讚的，值得表揚的意思。You can sing the praises of somebody 竭力誇獎：I have been singing your praises to all my friends and they want to meet you. Praise is an expression of strong approval or admiration. LAUD 表示高度讚譽，對某種特殊成就予以歌頌；COMMEND 是書面正式用語，一般用於上級對下屬，長輩對晚輩的稱讚或表揚。
由最高度稱頌到一般讚賞
讚美的流行語，可以因不同程度而異，由最高度的稱頌 praise to the skies 到一般讚賞 ordinary and moderate praise 都有：I give him full marks = high praise 高度讚揚。You are praised by everyone or many people 有口皆碑，眾人交相讚美你；to pat oneself on the back is to congratulate：the student has worked better than usual this week, I think he deserves some sort of pat on the back 他應受到某種表揚；I take off my hat to him is to salute an achievement 向某人的成就致敬。
有時候，不只不願意讚美，反而故意寓貶於褒，明讚實貶：to damn something with faint praise 明褒實貶，即是冷淡和不洽當的讚揚，貶低某人某事的表達手法。Perhaps we are being nice, or perhaps we are in a situation where negative comments are not appropriate.
言不由衷的讚揚
Sometimes, we can’t just say something is bad。言不由衷的讚揚，disapproval with insincere praise：假如我們說一副電腦造型優美花俏，the computer “looks sleek”，表示其性能未符理想，the primary point of praise would indicate that the computer is not that amazing。這是用模棱两可的字眼，措辭含混的陳述手法，掩飾對事物的譴責和批評。”To damn something with faint praise” is to conceal blame under a cloak of ambiguous words；運用冷漠的讚揚，貶低某人或某物的手法，可以寓貶於褒，動機是明褒實貶：disguise criticism is to praise somebody or something only a little, in order to show that you do not really like them。
自吹自擂是 to blow one’s own trumpet means to boast = self congratulation；to give due credit or to somebody’s credit 是頌揚某人，to make somebody deserve praise or respect。
直率的責怪
BLAME 表示責怪、指摘，將責任歸咎於他人。責怪也有直接的責備：it’s all your fault; you’re to blame，以及間接的、含蓄的、表較委婉的。To blame for is to consider somebody responsible for something：我把這次交通意外歸咎於路面濕滑，I blame the wet road for the accident。No matter how hard I try, the teacher always finds fault with my work 就有挑剔的意思，to find fault is to blame someone。直率的責怪：we’ve got you to thank for the mess we’re in。暗示某人有錯，hinting a blame，但不直斥其非，可以說 if the cap fits, wear it，批評得當，就得接受。當被別人特別針對或錯誤指摘時，when yare unjustly accused，你可以對他說：Why pick on me?
比較強烈的責怪：to hold it against him 或 to put the blame on him；用食指點責某人，表示責備、警告：to point the finger at。比較中性的責怪：to hold responsible 或 to assign fault。
承擔責任
承擔責任或過失 to accept the total blame 是 to shoulder the blame：She shouldered the blame for all that had gone wrong that day 她承擔了那天所有的過錯。其他 blame 的習用語有：to drag through the mud 使某人名譽掃地，to shame somebody；to cast aspersions on 誹謗；to make unfavourable comments about somebody’s ability：to speak ill of 說某某的壞話。
批評與挑剔
批評與挑剔（CRITICISM）有五類自然搭配的形容詞，five main areas of adjectives to collocate with criticism：
1. strong 強烈的批評：severe, harsh, heavy, bitter；
2. wide 廣泛的批評：widespread, general, fundamental, constant；
3 positive 正面的批評：fair, constructive, legitimate, valid；
4. negative 負面的批評：adverse, hostile, scathing, damaging；
5. growing 愈來愈多的批評：increasing, mounting criticism。
明褒實貶
美國《紐約時報》以 “China’s Pop Fiction” （中國流行小說家）為題報導了郭敬明，文章的第一句是：「現今，中國最成功的（原文為 most successful）作家是24歲的青春偶像作家郭敬明。」包括郭敬明在內的很多人可能沒有細看內容，還真以為《紐約時報》是在褒揚郭敬明，於是浪費口舌去爭論成功的標準，去發表「謙虛」的感言。而實質呢？《紐約時報》是在對郭敬明明褒實貶，是在藉郭敬明諷刺中國的文學。
面對「中國最成功的作家」這一稱號，有人認為郭敬明被高捧了，有人認為郭敬明「牆裏開花牆外香」名至實歸，一直處在輿論風口浪尖上的郭敬明似乎很謙虛，表示「我覺得很榮幸」。其中，筆者認為最有水準、真正弄懂了《紐約時報》報道的，應該是郭敬明的「冤家」韓寒，他淡淡地表示「怎麼排都無所謂」。
道歉的藝術
How to say sorry? 不誠意的道歉是 a half-hearted apology。低能的道歉（feeble excuse）是a lame apology（站不住腳的藉口）。低聲下氣的賠罪（abject apology）的成語，英式說法是 to eat humble pie，美式說法是 to eat crow。食言是 to eat your words。道歉 Apologies and Excuses 最通行的說法不外乎 I’m sorry/excuse me/I beg your pardon/I apologize/I owe you an apology/forgive me/please accept my apologies。不小心碰着人家或踩着別人的腳趾，只需要說 I beg your pardon, I hope I haven’t hurt you。未能依時趁約可以說聲 I’m afraid I can’t make it。抱病致歉可以用 I don’t feel up to it。遲到只消說 I’m so sorry I’m late, but … 或 I apologize for being late, but …，找個最好的藉口 to offer an apology 是道歉的藝術！
禮多人不怪
Polite communication，學英語，目的旨在溝通 to communicate，達到說話的目標 objective，得到聽者的良好反應 desired effect。語用學 Pragmatics 的大前題：要理解語言，語境 context 最重要。語言行為 speech acts 有直接和簡接的分別。指令類 directive or imperative 的例子：Shut the door，是對聽話的人直接要求關門，有時會來得太突然，不禮貌，或者聽者沒有能力、不願意去做，我們可以考慮用簡接語言 indirect speech act 或比較婉轉的方式達到同一目的。我達議六個有禮貌的方式去說同一句話：
1. I’d be grateful if you’d shut the door.
2. Could you shut the door?
3. Would you mind shutting the door?
4. It’d help to have the door shut.
5. It’s getting cold in here.
6. Shall we keep out the draught?
本專欄逢周二、五發表
